Once upon a time there was this squirrel who couldn't find his lady squirrel because she got lost in the woods.
He searched high and low (but mostly low, he wasn't a flying squirrel) and couldn't seem to find her.
He went to a park.
He saw a man talking on this flat box. He asked if he could borrow it, in the only way he could.
He bit the man, gave him rabies, and directly after he ran away.
He called the operator. She didn't understand squirrel. So it didn't work.
But it surely would have if the lady squirrel had a phone.
So the squirrel asked me to start a campaign.
In other news:
There once was a redhead who thought this story was funny when she typed it up. Excuse her.
Love,
Nicole
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