Top 5

For Today's lovely post, I thought I might do another Top 5. Everyone loves a good list...Especially if that list is:
(this picture isn't the title, just applicable)

The Top 5 Most Awkward Things To Do Whilst At School Next to boys, Mostly.

Just ignore how long that title is. If you have any suggestions for a better way to word that, lemme know via comment. Or email. Or postcard. Or messenger bird.

Beeteedubs, this is all true. And it all happened to...anonymous. We'll call her Red.
Oh wait, that might give it away. aw.

(It's a countdown)

5)BASED ON TRUE STORY: You'll be talking to your friends about how shoes tell so much about a person. The group will be discussing and as an example you'll use crocks. You'll say how they are " an example of sturdy shoes, with little style effort, generally meaning this person loves comfort over looks, and that their air holes generally prevent sweat, most likely meaning they have stinky feet." You aren't usually so harsh. It's just that those haven't been worn for a couple of years. The boy in the group was wearing crocks. And you wore the color of red on your face for the next day. Slash whenever you saw him.
4) BASED ON TRUE STORY: Buy a binder with creepy cats playing with yarn just because you think it's funny, as well as a matching folder. Then proceed to pull it out in class, and when the person next to you looks at you weird, you try to explain.. "Huhuh, cat's right?.....It's my little sister's?" Yeah.Nice.Blame it on someone else.


3) ANOTHER TRUE STORY: Whilst looking at an animated picture, that most definitely DID look like the alligator was spanking the dolphin, turn to your hot guy to your left, and tell him your discovery. Oh, you can count on him looking at you weird for the rest of the year. And the next.

2) ANOTHER TRUE STORY: While in the bathroom at school, stand up, (because if you are awkwardly tall there is a really good chance they can see your eyes above the stall door) and ask the butch volleyball player if you could please have some toilet paper, whilst awkwardly laughing. (because if you try to make it a joke they might be nicer.Usually) Then continue to stand, even though she knows you're standing with your pants down, chuckling, while she takes another 45 seconds to wash and dry her hands. And still not saying anything. She will then give you a wad of toilet paper, oddly the size of a volleyball (she's probably most comfortable with that size) and say; "I didn't know how much you'd need." Well. oh, I see. I see how it is. Very rarely does someone need that much, and on those occasions I recommend not coming to school.

1) AND YET ANOTHER TRUE STORY, THE AWKWARD OF AWKWARDS: When in math class, turn to your guy friend behind you and ask if he understands what's going on, but whilst doing this, your little strap connecting your cups in your bra will snap. (This is aimed towards girl readers, boys included if you wear a bra) You will then quickly turn around and, and.....and. You don't know what to do. So the most logical thing would be to fold your arms, and try to hold it together. Literally. Your guy friend then asks what is going on, because you briskly turned around, and ignored him. When you try to pretend like nothing went down, he'll ask if you're praying. You'll get all weirded out, and try to tell him you are not.  And by saying this, I mean you will unfold your arms and lift them in the air "I'm not!". After about 2 maybe 4 long seconds later, you freak out and try to gather all that you have lost. Literally. Too late. He already saw. And by saw, I mean saw that it looked like you had 4, not 2. So you'll keep to youself for the rest of class. And probably a couple after. And you'll be glad that you were blessed with hills, not so much mountains.

Love,
Red. Er, I meant Nicole.